Joy Journeys-November 14, 2015

It's been such a crazy week, where shall I begin.  We spent a lot of time looking for apartments of singles.  Our problem today was we had apartment addresses but no apartment numbers.  We'll just keep trying.

We followed up on some active members.  Bro. Pratt is deployed and she is here with three daughters.  They are older and they seem to be doing pretty well.  Bro. Fox is now home for the Middle East.  We have not met him yet but we have contacted Bethany and all is well.  The Millers are an active family living on base.  They have 3 year old twins, turning 4 in December.  Alexis and Austin are so cute.  Alexis is very friendly and talks all the time.  Austin is quiet and doesn't say much.  The reason I mention them is because they had their Christmas tree and inside decorations all out up.  Around the tree are two trains which chug along a track.  The interesting thing is that everything about the train, track, people, buildings, etc. are all out of Lego's.  I want to go back next week and take a picture.  It is really fascinating to watch.  I know Crew would love seeing what they have done.

On Friday we met the Vacaville Zone Leaders to visit the Hansen's.  We have met with them several times and the elders have been meeting with them for a long time.  The goal was to prepare them for temple marriage.  They are a delightful couple about in their late 70's and have been married 36 years.  They have had a lot of challenges but we thought they were doing well.  When we arrived at their home we found out that Bro. Hansen's son was in the hospital where he had two stints put in.  Sis. Hansen's father is 93 years old and in the hospital in Brazil.  When we found out that so much was going on, we offered to come back another time.  Bro. Hansen began visiting with us. Sis. Hansen joined us to say hello but then excused herself to try to reach her family in Brazil.  We were fine with that and then the meeting took a totally different turn.  Sis. Hansen came back, sat down and proceeded to tell us that Bro. Hansen doesn't believe in Joseph Smith and doesn't have a testimony.  He has a hard time reading and so he has not read the Book of Mormon.  The elders engaged them in some gospel questions but the conversation continued to take different turns.  Next Sis. Hansen told us how Bro. Hansen has hit her before.  Of course, Bro. Hansen had his side of the story.  He has been in jail twice for domestic violence.  They began telling us about events going back to when they first met,  how they treat each other's children (second marriage), the language he uses when he gets mad, etc.  Elder Nordfelt and I looked at each other and knew we needed to end this visit.  These missionaries were in way over their heads.  Elder Nordfelt asked Sis. Hansen if she loved Bro. Hansen and she said yes.  He then asked Bro. Hansen if he loved Sis. Hansen and it was a little bit more labored yes.  The next question was 'do you want help to put this back together?' Sis. Hansen said yes and Bro. Hansen said he didn't think he had a problem.  There was so much blame and hurt going on.  Elder Achal told them that a way he puts his temper in check is to think about blessings in his life.  When he starts thinking about his blessings, his temper calms down.  I really don't thing Elder Achal has aa temper problems but I think he made a very good point.  The elders will follow up by calling the bishop and giving it to him.  He is the person that needs to take over and see where this will be going.  As we left , Sister Hansen kept saying, 'pray for me.'  They are certainly in our prayers as we left to go to our next visit.

We then visited Sis. Henderson and her son Edward.  Bro. Henderson is in the Middle East and won't be back till the end of December. Sis. Henderson and Edward will be leaving on Monday to go to Utah and get some things ready for her daughter's wedding.  She has four sisters that she will be with and I really do think it will be a blessing for her.  She has some very strong feelings about U-Tube, Amazon and different websites and how they are so bad.  She worries about her husband and pornography.  She does everything she can to protect her son.  I don't blame her, it is a very challenging world around us.  We offered to help with the wedding reception.  I hope she lets us help and be there for her.  Her depression and her tears seem to be a little more under control.

Journey Joy-November 5, 2015

The middle of October we visited with the Henderson Family.  They have a 12 year old son, Edward, and a daughter living in Utah, getting married in January.  They were a sweet family but she was very emotional because he was going to deploy on October 26. We kept in contact and offered to help in any way possible.  On Tuesday, October 27 we got a phone call from Cecily and she wanted to have a blessing.  When we got to their home, she was an emotional wreck.  She began telling us their story. It seems that he has had some problems with pornography.  They had met with the bishop and she feels like he is trying but unable to get it under control.  She has also had multiple health issues, he has been passed up for promotion, they had a failed business adventure which caused a bankruptcy, plus dealing with the healing of a spouse feeling not good enough because of pornography.  She told us that she has even thought about suicide but would never do that because she knew her children needed her.

Craig and I felt a little overwhelmed with the information.  Craig gave her a wonderful blessing and we left for the night.  On Friday night we saw her at the Halloween party.  She said she was doing much better and felt like she was going to be OK.  Then on Saturday she text and said she wanted us to come by and give Edward a blessing.  On Sunday, November 1, we went over to visit.  Craig gave a message kind of like a home teaching message.  Edward then had a blessing.  We had a nice visit  and were invited to come back anytime.  I told her I didn't want to bug her too much by texting or calling but she said, "bug me all you want."

The next text came on Wednesday she texted and said she wasn't doing very good.  She expressed her concern again about him gone and that she feels she has no self esteem.  On Wednesday evening I called Erika (my daughter-in-law) to get some advise from a 'real' counselor.  I am truly grateful for her help and advice.  So today is Thursday, November 5, and we are meeting with her again tonight.   I have been looking for a talk or a thought to take to her.

She is such a sweet sister.  I feel like we are good friends even though we have only known her her a little over a month.  This will be an ongoing situation until he comes back in December.  It won't really be cured when he gets back but the situation will change.  I'm not sure what our role will be then.  The wedding is in January and so that will be another stressor on their family situation.

Craig and I have spent some special time with her and Edward.  We know that the Lord is aware of her and blessing her.  We have had to go in prayer to determine what we should do or say.  I listened to the Osmond Brothers sing "I Believe".  I have felt an overwhelming feeling that our Heavenly Father is truly aware of Cecily.  However, its time for her to trust in him and let some of the pain go and let Him carry it.  I'm just not sure how to explain this to her and what to say.  I guess I'll have to depend on the Lord also.